Saturday, October 14, 2017

6 Things More Terrifying Than Jason Voorhees

In the spirit of Halloween, I decided to share some things that will make your skin crawl and have you checking the locks on your doors tonight. Okay, probably not. But would this post be authentic if I didn't act overly dramatic?

1. Squiggle Eyebrows. I can't believe this is even a real thing, you guys. But it is and I'm horrified. I can't make this shit up.

2. The Kardashian's are reproducing at alarming rates. Another generation of vocal burn and an unrealistic waist to ass ratios are happening. Get ready.

While Kim has confirmed a surrogate is carrying she and Kanye's baby, Khloe and Kylie are still playing coy. (Until Momager Kris lines up overpaid photo shoots for all these baby bumps, I guess we'll just have to keep speculating.) This brings the Kardashian/Jenner pregnancy count up to 3. I'm going to go ahead and call a fourth pregnancy in the family. Kourtney, I see you. In any event, how is anyone supposed to keep up? Don't drink the Calabasas water, y'all. 

3. Fidget Spinners.

Hate them. DUMB. I'm not even sorry. When I see a kid with a fidget spinner, I secretly want to knock it out of their hands. Harming small animals is a pre-requisite to being a serial killer. This shit is, too. Watch and see. It's a gateway toy.

4. Participation Trophies.

Don't get all twisted, hear me out. I love my kids, too. I want their self-esteem to be higher than everyone on Snoop Dogg's tour bus. But I also don't want them to be disenchanted. It's important that they fail. Failure builds character. Still want your kids to get participation trophies? Call me when your son is forty. He'll be living in your basement, wearing a cape, playing Call of Duty 32.

5. This app called Sarahah. It's an anonymous messaging app and a popular one, too. (95 million users and growing.)

On the other hand, this is a great app if you're a really lonely, sadomasochist.

6. This website wins for everything I fear, wrapped into one dot com.

(Not actually me. I'm way more attractive, obviously. I just don't want you to hate me. So I'm using this stand in.)

I am however legitimately eating a cheeseburger in my panties as I type this.

Are you sporting squiggly brows? Tell me what things terrify you. Inquiring minds want to know.


*This post may be linked up to these kick ass blogs:


  1. So the purpose of that app is to allow people to talk shit to each other without repercussion or fear of retaliation? what could go wrong?

    1. Right? Such an innovative idea...I'm sure it's going to change the world. I'll bet it could end world hunger even. Ha. Thanks for reading me!

  2. Squiggle eyebrows!! Can you imagine waking up to a pair of squiggles, I would either scream or wet myself laughing! #FridayFrolics

    1. Girl, if I woke up with those I would be hysterical. Full on ready to jump status. LMAO. I can't believe the stupid things people think look good. Why???

  3. Your posts always make me smile!

    1. And you just made ME smile! Thank you so much. :)

  4. I'm with you on all of these! That app is ridiculous - if you daren't say it to someone in your own name, don't say it all!
    My personal cringe trend at the moment is nose hair extensions which I'm realllllly hoping was a joke!
    Thanks for linking up to #HalloweenHorrors :)

  5. Haha! OMG - what the hell are those eyebrows?! Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics!

  6. Ha ha squiggle eyebrows are the scariest thing ever! #HaloweenHorros