Saturday, September 30, 2017

Guess Who's Back?

I've been procrastinating coming back to blogging for far too long. I've been putting off today what can be done tomorrow. But the laundry still isn't washing itself and I'll never be accountable if I don't just pull the trigger. So here I am.

That's right, y'all. Your favorite neurotic friend is back from hiatus. (I hate the word hiatus, by the way. It immediately reminds me of a hernia. Is that weird?) Did you miss me? Show of hands; how many of you thought I had a bad vajazzling accident?

That's what I thought.

 So much has happened in the last few months, I'm upside down with the chaos. But in true diva form, I'm adapting.

My baby brother passed away unexpectedly this Spring. He was young, beautiful, and so full of life. Then just like that, he was gone. Of course, I've heard all of the generic sympathy responses eleven dozen times. "He's in a better place now." "God must have needed him more." "I'm sure he's smiling down on you now." But that's a whole other post, you know? The way we awkwardly handle death.

If it were acceptable to wallow in self-pity forever, I would have given that a go. But that's just not how it works. Instead, I've taken on a full-time job working for my husband on a start up business. Yep, that's right. I'm sleeping with the boss. What can I say? The dress code is casual, I probably won't get fired for returning late from a break, and I'm supporting his dreams. (When I say his dreams, I mean my shopping addiction.)

 Then I'm still doing that whole Mom thing. It's like they think I'm supposed to work this gig forever or something. My daughter is starting a brothel and my son is learning to count cards for our upcoming vacation to Vegas. I'm totally kidding. But truth be told, worse things could happen.

Anyway, I've missed most of you. Your comments, your blogs, your tweets, & even some of your faces. It's good to be back! I have no shortage of things to talk about, so buckle up.

 Drop me a comment and catch me up on your life. Is there a blogging cartel on the come up I need to watch out for? Are hashtags still a thing? Did you unfollow me on Twitter? Because I have an app for that and I'm going to be super pissed off if you did.