Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Important Doesn't Have A "D"



Happy Tuesday, everyone. It's not Monday and all is right in the universe.

But not really, though. I want to talk about pet peeves instead. You guys down with that? We all have a list of things that we can't stand, amirite? Some of us have longer lists than others, but without a doubt, everyone has at least ONE thing that makes them want to throat punch someone.

Here is my (cut very short) list:



Important does not have the letter D anywhere in it.



I'm not sure why people insist on saying "Impordant" rather than "Important." It's a T. How is this even a thing?


Half-assed product reviews.



I don't care if you love that cage bra from Vic's Secret, or even that you slept in it last night. I need to know how much you weigh, your measurements, cup size, and what size you bought. Did it fit you just right? Too big/too small? Pretend you're Goldilocks and do better. (By the way Ann from Michigan, I'm the one that gave your "review" a thumbs down.)

Vague-booking.

Now I'm not sure if your Mom didn't hug you enough as a child or if you're unsuccessfully crying out for attention, but I hate this shit.

Mary is "wondering if it's all really worth it?"
Mark is "thinking that was a bad idea."



Vocal Fry.

If you don't know what this is, simple tune into Keeping Up With The Kardashians, visit a college campus or have a quick lunch at Chipotle. Once you hear it, you'll never be the same again.



Dumb or excessive hash-tagging.


#PleaseFuckingStop


Literally used literally incorrectly.



The overuse of the word co-parenting.

 I blame this on Teen Mom and more specifically, Dr. Drew. Tune into an episode and take a shot every time you hear "co-parent." Come back and tell me how super wasted you got.


"I just want us to co-parent."
"Yeah, we've been co-parenting really well."
"It's so hard to co-parent with him."

Co-Parenting Tip Number One: STOP SAYING CO-PARENTING.

Had you not co-had sex with each other, we wouldn't be in this situation.

When people say "Jesus take the wheel."


Jesus isn't going to take the wheel. It's your car, drive it. Besides, Jesus isn't licensed and probably isn't insured either. Jesus is busy. Take the bus.

The phrase "We're pregnant."


We don't have to let men in on this, ladies. Their contribution to the process deserves a nod, at best. We (WOMEN) are doing the real work here. Your baby Daddy can sit this one out. Don't agree with me? Talk to me after "WE" have been in labor for 42 hours and "WE" push a baby out.

So here's my question for you......




My Random Musings

Epic Mommy Adventures

26 comments:

  1. There is a lot about FB that drives me nuts. Besides vaguebooking I hate those people that feel the need to share every single thing that they come across. Our teen does it and I'm not even sure she understands half of what she is sharing!

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    1. Ahhh, yes. The over sharer. Or the check in on Facebook 1003003 times a day. Teenagers get a free pass. They're young, so that's their excuse. :)

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  2. This totally made me LOL a bit and can't thank you enough as this Tuesday has been a rough one at best. So thank you for that ;) #happynowlinkup

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    1. Janine, I'm glad I could make you smile on a less than perfect day! Here's to hoping your Hump Day beats your Tuesday. XO

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  3. People who shuffle their feet. This includes those horrible big clunky boots that girls wear and never seem to make it off the floor between steps. PICK UP YOUR FEET!!

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    1. YES!!! I can't stand feet draggers. How hard is it to just pick them up? Sigh.

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  4. I am now scarred for life, vocal fry. What the?! At least I now have a name for the voice I have always hated.....

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    1. Jen, I seriously go crazy when I hear girls talk that way. On top of it being annoying and obnoxious, it can damage your vocal cords. Idiots. LOL

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  5. Can these be any more on point!! Gwynie Paltrow claims she is The queen of coparenting. Blah, blah my blah, The only thing she is the queen of is having an organic banana up her you know what, lol. I too, need the details especially on clothing reviews. Even if you love it, if you're 5 foot to my 5'8, how is that going to pan out? What is driving me crazy right now is people who think they get the flu from the flu shot and people who only leave this blog comment: "Thanks for sharing." I loved this post, thanks for sharing, Bha ha ha

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    1. Andrea, yesssss! Gwynie is a fruitcake! I'll be she co-parents while getting colonics. Bwhahahah. I also hate the generic "thanks for sharing" comments. Just leave if that's all you can tell me. Flips hair. :)

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  6. I've learned a couple things here today. One) I can't believe there is actually a word to describe how the Kardashians talk. And I loved how that host ended her segment. Haha. 2) Literally, don't have other things I learned. 3) I about joke-literally died when you hate women who review products. I need to know...are you fluffy like me? Do you have a sore back from big boobs like me? How tall are you? What size do you wear on a bad day?

    That is all. #MeHeartsYouLongTime. #YoureLuckyIAlmostLiterallyDidMyWholeCommentInHashtags.

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    1. #YouAreTheBest #BigBoobs #ShawtyThough #SizeSweatpantsOnBadDays #ILoveYou

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  7. I love the grape hashtags! I never really got hashtags. What is the point, exactly?

    I don't mind "we're pregnant," though. Believe me, while I'm spending the first three months comatose on the couch, my husband is doing a ton of work making sure the house doesn't get condemned and our other kids don't die - WE are pregnant because he's working as hard as I am!
    #happynowlinkup

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    1. I think people miss the point of hashtags. Or maybe it's because they use them like accessories and people are seriously over accessorizing these days. LOL
      You can say "We're pregnant" since your husband is putting in extra work. I'll make the exception just for you. Are you craving #grapes yet? ;)

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  8. #too #many #hashtags #drive #me #nuts

    But my biggest pet peeve? When people call me Kathy. It's Katy folks!

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    1. Where in the world do they come up with Kathy? That would annoy me too!

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  9. OMFG. We're soulmates. I think I probably have too many pet peeves. I hate watching people bite their nails. Ew.

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    1. Soulmates without question. Hashtag this. LOLOL

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  10. Haha fab list! I totally agree about important (I hate when people say pacifically instead of specifically as well!). And vague booking too! Just why!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes :)
    Debbie

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    1. OMG Debbie, I hate "pacifically" as well. I also hate when people mispronounce the name Jeremy by saying Germy. Like what?? I could bitch for days about things like this.

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  11. Ugh! My 7-year-old already over-uses the word "literally", and we're correcting her almost every day. Then again, we're the couple that insist on "may" vs. "can". And don't even get me started on "insure" vs "ensure" and all the other grammar issues that are so common. Thanks for joining us again at the #happynowlinkup!

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    1. Ahhh, I remember when my daughter was 7. It's a choose your battles thing with them. I'd take a literally over an eye roll any day of the week. (Is she eye rolling yet? Bless your heart, because it's coming.) Sometimes I read things people write and wonder how they got through elementary school. SMH.

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  12. Gifted.

    You do not gift something to someone. You GIVE it to someone. Someone GIVES you a GIFT. But you do not frikkin' GIFT something to someone.

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    1. That's a great one! I feel like people who say gifted are trying too hard. I'm with you- You give a gift, not gift a gift. Dumb.

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  13. I hate it when you sit and wait for your OH to do something and then when you get up to do it, they follow you and start helping. For instance, I work from home but I also work in college for 2 days and attend uni for 1.5 days. The kids attend clubs and currently my OH isn't working. I come home and hint for him to do dinner, he doesn't so then when I move to cook dinner, he follows me and starts getting involved and I'm like whoa, man, get out of the kitchen, because I'm up now, you had your chance and I want to cook angrily and alone because you didn't take my hint! Hahaha - he's quite good really this only happens occasionally and if I just asked him, he would do it. I feel like I shouldn't have to ask!!! Maybe it's me with the problem... no, it can't be!

    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes

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    1. LMAO you and I are so alike. Yeah, don't bother getting up to look like you're helping me when we both know you were just waiting for me to get up. Haha! You know what else I hate along those lines? When someone says "WE need to..." when their definition of WE actually means YOU. Thanks for hosting, by the way and always being so accepting of my mouth. I've been deleted from other link ups and I think I really water myself down to not offend. If they only knew, right? ;)

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