Monday, January 30, 2017

Golden Years Goals


 I don't have a bucket list, but I do have a mental list of all the things I want to do in my "golden years." (Which is such a bullshit term, because I doubt there's anything golden about varicose veins or dementia.)

In any event, I plan on being a special kind of senior citizen. 

As odd as it sounds, I can't wait to have gray hair. I'm planning on letting it grow wild, right down to my booty. I'm talkin fifty shades.


 Then I'm going to dye it the loudest color I can think of.


I plan on visiting the colleges of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren during pledge week. Because nothing says cool like a Grandma doing a keg stand. Then I'll post pictures to my social media so my geriatric friends can be jealous.


The party won't stop there. No, sir. I plan on hitting Florida for Spring Break at least once after I turn 60. You can bet your dentures, I'll slay that shit, too.


 I'll go skinny dipping and not think twice about what my body looks like.


I'll always make time to do hood rat things with my hood rat friends.


I vow to dress fly until the day that I die. Even at the nursing home.


I'll still use Snapchat and be twenty on the inside.


I'll forever be the leader of my squad. (Because ain't nobody fuckin with my clique.)


I will not let a day go by, that I won't stop and reminisce about my youth.


Because at the end of my days, I will always be that bitch.



My Random Musings
Admissions Of A Working Mother
http://beingawordsmith.com

16 comments:

  1. Ok, I love this so much and can only hope I will be half as awesome as this women in my golden years, to :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right? I'm determined to make old look like a good time! Google Baddie Winkle. That woman is golden years goals!

      Delete
  2. I can't wait to get to the age where its acceptable to just let a fart rip, no matter where I am or who is around. #happynow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO. My husband is already practicing for that. It's bad enough that he does it, but sometimes he'll look at me and say "BABE!" As if I done it. I can only imagine the embarrassment he's going to cause me.

      Delete
  3. Yaaasss Baddie Winkle. You will be the flyest old lady around. We'll be sitting on our rockin' chairs and talking shit. Love it. Thanks for sharing!
    #HappyNowLinkUp

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can already see us now! The next Baddie Winkle's in training! Smooches!

      Delete
  4. I'm convinced that one of the best things about getting old is that it suddenly isn't so bad to be politically incorrect. I can't wait to be able to say what I really think, and not care what anyone thinks about it...and for no one else to really care either! Thanks for another fun post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Girl, you can't know how much I live for the day I can throw P.C. to the wind and just be who I am. No judgment. :) Thank you so much for stopping by and for hosting my favorite linkup!

      Delete
  5. I am turning gray, thought it wouldn't be a bog deal, but dang, I don't like it. Maybe pink would suit me?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jen, you'd slay with pink hair! I keep waiting for my grays to start filling in but one of the few good genes my parents gave me were delayed gray hair. Go figure. Thank you for reading and hosting my fave linky!

      Delete
  6. God I love you and I love this! I literally want to be the exact same and what of it!? #anythinggoes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love you back! We're going to bring sexy back to the senior citizens. Bet! Thanks for visiting me. I'm flattered. :)

      Delete
  7. This is brilliant - those are some serious goals right there and I think they would make retirement well fun!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes :)
    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love this,made me laugh muchly.#Stayclassymama

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is brilliant and you've just given me the inspiration I need for my hair! I started going grey in my 20s and constantly dye it every month to avoid the dreaded regrowth. I'm wondering when is the 'proper' age to go grey though. I'm 41 so it feels too young to go grey. Being old and quirky sounds fun and demands respect. Doing it now though? Would I just be a freak? LOL #StayClassyMama

    ReplyDelete
  10. So many brilliant goals! I love the silver and hot pink hair. I went silver a couple of years ago, but it was never quite as silver as I wanted. An yes, for dressing fly even in the nursing home!

    ReplyDelete