The Very Naughty Elf on the Shelf

(Easily offended readers should turn back now.)

So here's the truth-I never bought into the whole Elf on the Shelf craze. I figured it would just be another parenting pain in the ass. The tooth fairy has been known to fall asleep and forget to deal with her important transactions around here. The Elf didn't stand a chance under my roof, so he was never a thing. 

I'll be even more honest, I laughed at most of you on the low. Giving your elf, elf-like names, perching him atop shelves, wrapping him around tubes of toothpaste. I found it a little lame. (Hold your contempt for me.)

Until now. 

Some of you are absolutely killing the entire Elf on the Shelf game and I LOVE your inappropriately awesome ideas!

Do you have an EOTS? What's his/her name? (I would have named mine ODB, short for Old Dirty Bastard, obviously.) Are they going to be on Santa's naughty list this year?

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