I have never witnessed so much joy over something so ugly. Excluding the birth of my cousin's baby. An 11-pound baby, born vaginally after 33 hours of labor is not a pretty sight, I don't care what anyone says. I digress.
Back to these sweaters. I guess I can understand how slipping into a hideous sweater and heading to a party could be advantageous.
Ugly sweater advantage number one.
If you go way too hard on the holiday eggnog, you don't have to worry about throwing up on your pretty party clothes. Ugly sweaters are at the very least, expendable.
Ugly sweater advantage number two.
You probably won't engage in casual, drunken sex. Therefore, you will also not pick up an unwanted STD or a baby. Ugly sweaters could double as birth control. Not sexy.
Ugly sweater advantage number three.
If you get your ugly sweater parties in before December 25th, you can take it off, Febreeze that ugly thing, and ta-dah!
Regift your ugly sweater to your least favorite family member.
Hmm. Maybe these ugly sweaters aren't so bad after all? If I had to rock one, it would be one of these:
Do you own an ugly sweater? Tell me about it!