Tuesday, November 22, 2016

It's Cuffing Season - The Cliff Notes



The temperatures are dropping, we're all putting on our winter weight, and some of us are about to be snowed in for a long winter. That can only mean one thing. It's cuffing season. If you have no clue what I'm talking about, let me break it down for you with the help of Urban Dictionary. 


During the Fall and Winter months, people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be "Cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.
Contain your shock, this is a real thing. It can't be a coincidence that I met my other half during cuffing season. So in honor of it, I've compiled some important information for all you singles out there, essential for this not yet on the calendar holiday. 

1. Nobody will cuff you if you have chapped lips. This applies to men and women. Equality and whatnot. My personal favorite products are Jersey Shore Cosmetics Vanilla Bean Anti-aging Lip & Hand Polish & Chapstick's Pumpkin Pie. (Which is seasonal and kind of difficult to find. I managed to pick up multiple three packs the other day. Obsessed af.)


Is bae on the way and you don't anything for your lips? Slap a layer of Vaseline on your lips, dip your finger in some sugar and scrub away. Being cheap is acceptable, being chapped isn't.

2. Arm your medicine cabinet. 
We all know what Netflix & Chill is about, so don't breed on the first date. Choose your birth control method, ladies. (We're always the more responsible ones.) The pill won't save you from STD's though. Nobody has time for that. Use a condom every time because chlamydia ain't cool. Someone trademark that. 


via GIPHY

3. Netflix & Chill playlist. 

Everybody needs a good Netflix and Chill lineup. I'll help by starting you out with my picks for your viewing pleasure. You're welcome.
  • XXX
  • Would You Rather
  • The Loft
  • The Machinist
  • The Uninvited
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
  • Dope
  • Clerks
  • American Horror Story - Asylum
  • 10 Things I Hate About You
4. Believe in yourself. Confidence is sexy. Nervous? No problem. Just add Hennessy, the king of liquid courage and the reason some of us have that one unexpected child. 

HENNYTHING IS POSSIBLE

*This post is in no way sponsored by Hennessy, but if they should see this post and want to comp me a bottle...



Epic Mommy Adventures


2 comments:

  1. Haven't heard of cuffing season before but I can imagine it gets lonely this time of year for singles. Gotta have Netflix, great way to spend a date. Good movie choices too. Love XXX and Would You Rather.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have stellar movie taste! :) Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read! XO

      Delete