Wednesday, October 12, 2016

What's Your Favorite Scary Movie?


It's October. The leaves are falling, the air is cooler, & scary movies are key. As a horror film buff, I can tell you how you can easily keep yourself from being a victim.

1. Never wear matching bra and panty sets. Those broads always get the axe. So keep your undergarments mix matched, girls. Don't go trying to be a Vic's Secret model. It might just cost you your life.

2. Never take your shirt off. The moment your tits are out, you're vulnerable. Keep those puppies put up.

3. Don't go camping. This one is self-explanatory.

4. Don't have sex. Ever. No position is safe, so don't bother finding a loophole. Sex = death.

5. Don't babysit. The babysitter is always terrorized. It's a proven thing.

6. Refrain from saying "Hello? Who's there?" when you hear a strange noise. It only tells the killer where you're at and affirms that you're an idiot. Killers love easy prey.

7. The last and most critical rule; NEVER, EVER run upstairs to evade your killer. It's a guarantee you'll die. Try the back door or a window to make your escape. If you can't escape the house, grab a kitchen knife and go for the jugular.

Now that I've passed on this life-saving info, let's talk about scary movies. Do you like them? What's your favorite film? Inquiring minds want to know. These are my all time favorites. Check them out!


 Halloween
The original film is my favorite. Although the sequels & even Rob Zombie's remake are all acceptable.


 The Strangers
This is scary as shit, you guys. If you haven't watched it you're missing out.


The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Again, the original is life. But the remake is pretty awesome too.

 IT
Albeit a sensitive time to mention clowns, this is the movie that put clowns on the map for being insanely terrifying. Not to mention Stephen King can do no wrong.


House of 1000 Corpses
I love Rob Zombie's films. Every single one of them. He's sick and twisted. Without question, my cup of tea. (Bonus points because his wife is ultra adorbs & stars in all of his movies.)



Identity
While I wouldn't necessarily consider this a "horror film" it's getting an honorable mention. We'll call this a psychological thrill ride instead. This one is probably in my top 10 favorite films of all time. Watch it and thank me later.

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