Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Little Debbie, You've Got Me Twisted.

gluttony
noun  glut·tony \ˈglət-nē, ˈglə-tə-nē\

Simple Definition of gluttony

  • : the act or habit of eating or drinking too much
  • Source: Merriam-Webster's Learner's Dictionary

I have a confession to make. I'm a sucker for Little Debbie snack cakes. There. I said it. Damn you, Debbie. I'll bet you're morbidly obese and can't be far off from a diabetic coma. But I'll give credit where credit is due. She's smart, cropping her photo so it doesn't show her muffin top, child bearing hips, and thick thighs. Look at her face. You can legit tell she's a menace to society.










I'll bet she's a photoshop master, too. I wonder if she uses an app to slim her face? Little Debbie knew about filters and angles long before Instagram was even a thing. I'm sure of it.





Over the weekend, I made my trip to Hell-Mart to buy groceries. I know, I'm a brave woman. As per usual, I tried to make my trip as expedient as possible. Bobbing and weaving through the pajama-clad patrons, or as I like to call them, "the people of WalMart." I quickly slung supplies for my son's lunch into my cart. The last aisle is the bread aisle, which is also where Debbie lives. I grabbed a couple loaves of bread and reached out for the nearest box of snack cakes. A cute pumpkin design grabbed my eye. Perfect. I tossed the fall festive box of Fudge Rounds into my cart, checked out, and came home.

Sunday night came, as it always does. I was packing my son's lunch before I went to bed something I always do. Not because I'm organized. Rather because I'm like a zombie in the morning. It's in everyone's best interest, trust me. I ripped open the box of fudge rounds and grabbed two. One for my son, one for me; I call it quality control.

Two bites. That's how many bites it took me to finish my beloved fudge round. Now before you judge me and just assume I'm a gluttonous fat ass, peep the size of this snack cake.


Let me put it into perspective for you. You can't truly appreciate the gravity of this situation until you feel my pain.


What kind of cruel joke is this? The box didn't say these were bite sized. When did Debbie downsize the snacks? I'm still pissed off. I had to eat two of them to equal one "normal" sized Fudge Round. Now I feel some type of way.

Little Debbie, you will always be the bitch I love to hate and hate to love.


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5 comments:

  1. So glad you popped in to my blog last week so I could discover your hilarious blog! Already a huge fan here. :) Oh, and just so you know, my Fabulous Friday link-up is open to any kind of blog posts, not just fashion. Hope to see you there!

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    1. My daughter told me I had to check your blog out and I'm so happy I did! When I'm uber rich I'm hiring you to be my personal stylist without question. I will MOST def be joining your blog hop on Friday!!

      XO

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  2. You are hilarious! I am loving your posts...I laughed out loud when you mentioned in another post that KK should not be wearing lingerie with track pants...what the heck? newest fan here

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    1. YAY! You are too cute! (And also the reason I'm going to venture to Hell-Mart to get tumeric!) Looking forward to seeing you more often, doll face. XO

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  3. This was fun to read. Little Debbie has some great snacks. There are a lot of sweet treats out there that drive me crazy because I just can't seem to resist.

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